My painless visit to the French Consulate

Gone are the days when I knew everyone at the French Embassy. One of my friends used to work there and we spent a good amount of time barbecuing or just chilling out at the gendarme's house on the grounds of the French residence. All the administrative duties were a bit simpler when you knew you would see a familiar face in a bit of an uninviting environment.

I'm not saying the French consulate on Aylesbury road was a horrible place, far from it, but as a French abroad, the last thing you want is to come face to face with a microcosm of French society. Let's be honest here, the French Embassy never really had a good reputation, and I have my fair share of annoying anecdotes, but trust me, they don't all come from the staff.

I'm sure you've all heard stories about unhelpful members of staff, and yes, there were times where I felt I was talking more to a prison officer than a consulate representative. But I have also witnessed bad behaviour from French people, who think they are entitled to everything, that they can bypass you in the queue or just be disrespectful to the staff and other users. And sometimes, it's not even the French. The icing on the cake has to come from a foreign woman who took all of her clothes off inside the consulate when she was refused her visa. I wasn't there but I've been told the story by the guy who was at the counter that day. And trust me, it wasn't pretty!

Anyway, I'm sure you can understand I try to stay away from the consulate as much as I can, unless it's for a few drinks, which sadly is not going to happen any time soon (unless I'm invited for the 14th of July or something...).

Today, however, I had a very positive experience. I was completely stressed out at the idea of going to the consulate to renew my son's passport. Firstly because I had never been to their new place on Fitzwilliam Lane and I am really bad at driving in Dublin. I always get lost and can barely follow GPS directions. The second reason was I was afraid of not having the proper documents (the proof of address only had my name on it and not my husband's), or that the pictures wouldn't be the right size (it happened  before), or that my kids would misbehave, or that I would be late etc etc.

I left very early and bribed treated the kids with a Burger King lunch. I didn't get lost and understood the GPS directions, and was half an hour early. I almost died when I found out the cost of the cark park ( 2.90 euros per hour!!!), but I didn't know how long I was going to be in there for so I forked out 6 euros just to be sure. Of course the youngest wanted to go the toilets, but luckily there was a pub only a few steps away from the consulate, so we took the opportunity to sit down and have a drink. After all, we had half an hour to spare.

At 3pm sharp we were in front of the gate. We were let in and my handbag went through a security scan. I was mortified at the idea of the man there, seeing all the crap that was inside, but he didn't say anything. The waiting area was empty and they had a good selection of toys for the kids to play with, something that was cruelly missing in the old place. I waited no more than 10 minutes before being called in and all I was hoping for at that stage was for my kids to avoid talking about poop and fart, their favourite subject of conversation at home.

The lady was very nice and the process was painless. The pictures were fine (Phew!), the proof of address as well, and the phone call she took in the middle allowed me to take my son to the toilets for the 4th time since we left the house. My son had a very insightful question for her: "Why do you speak French and work in Ireland"?. He never asked me the question! He also tried to charm her by counting to ten in French and was all-around well behaved. My eldest was oblivious to the whole thing, playing on his tablet.

20 minutes later and I was out. Painless I told you! Of course, I realised I picked the right day, between Christmas and New Year, when Dublin traffic would be light and the consulate quiet. The appointment process was probably helpful as well, because there was less waiting than before. Thankfully I'm not the one who will pick up the passport once it's ready, and the next time I will be at the consulate will be for the French elections. At least I know how to get there now!

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Home for Christmas?

At this time of the year, you can see numerous videos of Irish people surprising their family with a visit home. Spending time with your family at Christmas is important in many countries, but particularly in Ireland, probably due to the emigration history of the country. So it's hard not be emotional when you see people meeting their loved ones at the airport on Christmas eve.

Even if I only spent one Christmas in France over the past 14 years, I always check the flights as early as July or August, just to see if we could make it home for Christmas. And every time, the price is extortionate. I mean, even if I had a thousand euros handy, I wouldn't spend it on a Ryanair flight. Add to that a rental car, and the holidays could cost as much as going to the other side of the world. And talking about the other side of the world, we did try to go to Mauritius for Christmas once, but at 4000 euros the ticket, we quickly forgot about it.

We did manage to go to France once, when I was on maternity leave with my second child. We had a good time, but it had been so long since I spent Christmas with my parents, that the spirit didn't feel the same. I have memories of spending Christmas eve with my parents, brother and sister, eating delicious finger food and drinking champagne, watching silly programs on TV and exchanging presents at midnight. When I was a child, we would put the Christmas tree up all together, put our slippers next to the chimney, and have an extended family lunch on Christmas day. Then we would spend days eating chocolates...Ah, memories!

But I had been in Ireland for 9 years already when I went home for Christmas for the first time. Most of my uncles and aunts that would have been present on Christmas day had passed away. My brother came for lunch, but my sister only came in the evening. I was so tired on Christmas eve (a 4 months baby didn't help) I think I went to bed before midnight. Most of my friends spent time with their own family, which is completely understandable, so I didn't really get to see them as much as I would have liked.

I had a nice time and I did spend quality time with my family, but for some reasons, it wasn't as "exceptional" as some summer holidays I spent there. I guess I liked the idea of going home for Christmas, but it didn't live up to my expectations. I was hoping for a Christmas like the ones I had, back when I lived in France, and it just wasn't the same.

"Home" for Christmas? Well, it looks like "home" is in Ireland now, where I've been making new Christmas memories for the past 14 years and where my kids will make some of their own.

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Irish Christmas memories

It's the 1st of December and Christmas FM is finally on air, which means it's the official start of the festive season. This is the occasion to share some of my Irish Christmas memories, and I have a few, having spent 14 of the last 15 Christmases in Ireland!

So, in true "Friends episodes titles" style, I share with you some of my best festive season stories...

The first one

The first Christmas I spent in Ireland will of course remain very special. I used to live with this Irish family and the daughter enrolled me to wrap the insane amount of presents she bought for her friends. She also had me writing the list of recipients for said presents, which led to a big laugh because I couldn't spell half of them. I was only in Ireland for a coupIe of months so I had never heard of Siobhan, Caitriona or Niamh at that stage. That first Christmas was also the start of our very own tradition of celebrating with friends who were not going home either, and we have done the same ever since.

The one where our landlord invited himself for dinner

Yes, he was the best landlord in the whole world, and tenants who are currently struggling with their rental house or apartment will definitely be jealous, so I apologise in advance. This guy showed up on Christmas Eve because he had nothing planned and ate dessert with us. He also brought us presents, wine and chocolate. Something he did every single year until we moved out.

The one where it snowed on Christmas day

I can't remember what year it was (2005 maybe?), but one thing I know is that it was completely unexpected. It wasn't that cold so never in a million year we would have thought it would be a white Christmas! Imagine our surprise when we opened the curtains in the morning. It didn't stick that much but we took time to enjoy a nice walk and built a (very small) snowman.

The one with the worst Christmas present ever

If you have a partner, I'm sure you know how difficult it can be to find a great gift. And let's face it, some people are better than others at choosing presents. And some of them are actually useless, even when you write a list. One year, my husband, despite the list I gave him, offered me a plastic shoe rack from Lidl. Apparently, it was to store my enormous shoes collection. Except I only had about 4 pairs. He must have confused me with my sister who is a total shoe addict. Let me tell you I wasn't impressed.

The one where I finished my Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve at 6pm

A few years ago, my then 4 years old decided he wanted a rocket ship from Santa. But of course, he told me that on the evening of the 23rd of December. Every normal parent would have found an excuse for the lack of rocket ship under the Christmas tree, but not me. So off I went to Smyth toys on Christmas Eve, only to discover they closed at 4pm (in fairness, they were opened almost 24 hours for 3 weeks before Christmas). So I raced to the other side of town to Argos. It was 6pm and the shop was closing. The employees were sending people out, and there I stood, almost crying. Again, completely my fault, who in their right mind would try and buy something on Christmas eve at 6pm? Luckily, a very nice employee saw me in distress and let me buy the beloved rocket ship, just in time for Christmas. It was somehow a very stressful evening, but when I saw the my son's reaction on Christmas morning, I knew it was worth it.

The one where I was sick

The first 12 years I was in Ireland, I worked over the Christmas break. As I was never going home, I didn't mind, and I could save holidays for other times during the year. But when I changed job, I discovered the company was closing for a week at Christmas so I had no choice but to be off. I was actually excited about being on holidays at home, and not having to travel anywhere for once. The excitement rapidly died off though. I had a cold for about 10 days before Christmas, then a severe stomach bug on Christmas Eve. My Christmas meal consisted of a slice of bread, three potatoes and water. I was sick all the way to New Year's eve, and on New Year's day, I finally got better so I decided to step out of the house, and you know what happened? I twisted my ankle! Of course, I was back on my feet and felt much better just in time to go back to work...But yeah, a Christmas I'd rather not remember!

The one with one too many Danish snaps

The joys of an international Christmas... A few years ago, my Danish neighbour had this great idea of bringing Snaps to our traditional Christmas meal. If you don't what it is, it's a very strong ice-cold Danish liqueur shot. The drink proved so popular on the day that all the guests were chanting "Skål!" (Cheers!) and "Glædelig jul"( Merry Christmas). Unfortunately some friends took the Danish Christmas spirit a bit too far and ended up either sleeping in the bathroom or sick in the corridor... And don't get me started on the worst hangover of all times...Having said that, it was one of the best Christmas I've had in Ireland so far, and all the friends who were there on the day agree (and they still want to drink Snaps).

What about you, any Christmas memories you want to share?

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Reasons why I'll only ever be "nearly" Irish

Last week I wrote a post explaining the different reasons why my kids are more Irish than I'll ever be. I replied to a few comments on Facebook and wrote that, contrary to my children, I would never be completely Irish. Someone then asked me why, so here's my complex answer to a complex question!

I have lived in Ireland for 14 years. I speak English, have Irish friends, and work with Irish people. I'm interested in Irish culture, history and  traditions and I even get the Irish humour (most of the time!). In order to understand the Irish "mentality" and way of life, I had to be aware of the country's past. I sometimes don't agree with certain attitudes, views or laws, but I understand where they come from. In short, I have adapted to my surroundings, and I feel completely integrated. The only thing I cannot do is vote, but I would have to apply for the Irish citizenship, and to be honest, I am not ready for that (also, it costs a thousand Euros).

Why would I not apply for Irish citizenship?

This is going to sound a bit stupid, but it would feel a bit like cheating. I'm not born here and personally I don't consider myself entirely Irish, so I don't really see the point of acquiring citizenship if I'm not 100% in it. Having said that, the fact that I am French, and therefore European, makes the decision easier in a way. When you're from outside Europe and lived in Ireland for many years, applying for visas, work permits, going through the hoops of Irish administration to legally stay in the country, the logical decision, regardless of how you "feel" about your identity, is to apply for Irish citizenship. That's what my husband did, which means now I don't have to queue for 8 hours at the garda station, and show my face, just to prove we're still married. It just makes our lives easier. Let me just point out that he feels a lot more Irish than I do, maybe because he only goes home every 3 or 4 years and doesn't know anyone from his country here in Ireland.

Why don't I consider myself completely Irish?

I was born and raised in France and came to Ireland when I was 22. Both my parents are French and all my education was done in French. All my childhood memories, and therefore my "formative" years, are about France: Books I read, movies I watched, games I played... I remember how France was in the 80's and 90's, how we lived, who was in power, major events that happened and how it affected me. Even if I know Irish culture and history through places I have visited, accounts from friends, and even my kids' homework, I have not lived it. And I think this is what separates me from my Irish friends.

But then again, I don't think I'm still entirely French either...

In a way, it's only when I go home I realise I have become more Irish than I think. I don't think I would be able to re-adapt to a French workplace for example, to re-learn the formal aspect of things, the hierarchy, the "vous" instead of "tu"... I've become so laid-back and relax in my attitude that I find some French people bitter and unhappy. But maybe this is just how I was before?

A case of double-identity?

To the question "where are you from?", I always joke and say I'm from Bettystown. Of course, the real question "where are you from, originally?" always comes next (my accent gives it away!). Well, I'm French, and proud of it. But I'm also proud to belong and contribute to Irish society. I will never be completely Irish, but I don't want to either. I don't want to forget where I come from and renounce my past. And why should I?

But what do my Irish friends think of that?

Let's be clear, if I don't feel Irish, it's not because this is the way I'm perceived by the natives. In fact, a lot of Irish people I know consider me one of them. I think it's because I've always tried to empathise and understand where they were coming from. I've always asked questions about traditions, history and so on. In short, I've always been curious, interested, and  I've never tried to hide my origins (I usually joke about them). In return, I told them about French culture, and I'm sure they were appreciative.

Assimilation vs. Integration

I will never be 100% Irish, and I'm fine with it. There is no way someone who goes to a different country as an adult completely assimilates to another culture. It's just impossible. How can a person completely forget and deny their origins, upbringing, culture, education? There is no doubt one can feel disconnected from their birth country because of the distance, the wide cultural differences or because they don't have family there anymore.

But I don't think we can ask foreigners to forget a part of themselves. Integration is key, learning about the host country customs, traditions, history, mentality is crucial to have that sense of "belonging". But to  ask someone to deny their own origins is just not right.

This reminds me of my cousin, who married a Chinese girl. They've lived in France for more than 20 years, and she took on French citizenship. But in order to do that, she had to give up her Chinese passport (China doesn't accept dual citizenship). I remember my family comforting her at the time, saying "Don't worry, you will always be Chinese!" This woman is completely integrated. She learned French, had a business in France, and she even changed her first name for a more French sounding one. But she is still Chinese at heart.

So what's next?

Maybe one day, if I really want to vote and I have savings, I will apply for the Irish citzenship, but I know I will only ever be "Nearly" Irish. The beauty of multiple backgrounds is that it allows us to be more open-minded, tolerant and adaptable. And in the world we live in, it's a lesson I really want to teach my Irish kids.

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6 reasons why my kids are more Irish than I'll ever be

My kids are finally starting to understand the concept of multiple nationalities. They know they are Irish, French and Mauritian, but because we live in Ireland, it is clear that they feel Irish first. And there are a few things that made me realise they are more Irish than I'll ever be.

They speak Hiberno-English  

I took me a few years to use typical Irish expressions because I had to get used to the way Irish people talked, but for my kids, it's natural. A few months ago, my 5-year old insisted on buying Actimel in Tesco, something I never bought before but that he had tried at the childminder. And when I asked him why, he just said " 'cos it's nice, like!". And when he was in his "I love to clean everything" phase, he told me "Look, I'm after cleaning the bathroom!"(which, if you don't know, is a typical irishism). Soon, he will be saying "grand", "Thanks a million" and "yer man". And that will be the end of it!!

And also Irish

Trying to to get them to speak French is an everyday battle. But surprisingly, they love learning Irish! My 8 years old is reading a book at the moment, and of course I don't understand anything, but he is able to translate for me! My youngest comes home and starts speaking to me in Irish. It's only a few words and expressions as he's only in Junior Infants, but he seems very interested. I wish they would put more effort into speaking French, but at least I know they enjoy learning a different language, which can only be positive.

They have the accent

My youngest speaks like a Dub, even though we live in Meath. I suspect it's because a lot of young kids have parents who are from Dublin but moved to the area a few years ago. He pronounces the "th" like the Irish, and when he said "like" (the Actimel story), it sounded a lot more like "loike"... When I heard that, my first reaction was "Where does that accent come from?!", because it's certainly not from me!!

They love salt & vinegar crisps

There are so many different crisps flavours I wonder how the salt & vinegar became the winner. My husband and I were never brought up with that kind of choice when it came to crisps. I am more of a cheese and onion flavour myself, but my kids, in their true irishness love to snack on salt & vinegar...

They know more about Irish traditions than I do (or at least they will soon)

This one is kind of a given because they learn about them at school: Halloween, St Patrick, St Brigid, Christmas...They sing songs I've never heard of and tell me stories I've never read as a child. Soon they'll be talking about the Late Late toy show and I'm so not prepared for that!!!

They consider themselves Irish

If I ask the question "Where are you from?", their answer is "Ireland". And that says it all really. That's fine because how else could it be? They're born here, they have an Irish passport, they go to the local school, they speak English...I would actually be concerned if they didn't feel Irish!

The good thing is, they tell me they're also French. The Mauritian part hasn't really kicked in, but I suppose it's because we go there so rarely  they can't relate yet. One thing for sure, they are Irish but they are well aware it's only one part of their cultural heritage, and that means we have done a good job so far!

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Weird stuff we discovered when buying our apartment

Maybe one day I'll have a house...

This week marks the 10th anniversary of our property purchase: a cosy 2 bedrooms apartment in a seaside village, 45 minutes from Dublin. I can't believe it's been 10 years already, especially when I see the outstanding amount on our mortgage. Anyway, buying an apartment wasn't always the plan, but unfortunately, it was the only thing we could afford at the time. Initially, I wanted a house, a garden, an attic, and 3 bedrooms. But in 2006, it was almost impossible to buy a house unless you were prepared to queue for hours and buy off the plans (I tried, it didn't work), try to bargain the price of a second-hand house (we also tried, didn't work either) or buy in a dodgy area (we almost did and looking back, I'm glad the sale fell through). We didn't have enough money to buy in our area of choice (Swords and Malahide), so we went further afield and lowered our expectations. We eventually found an affordable apartment in a brand new complex so we didn't think twice and signed straight away. I loved the fact that it was minutes from the sea and on top of that, it was a good size (80 square metres) so we knew we would have enough space when the time would come to extend the family...

But when we moved in, we discovered a few interesting oddities!

The apartment was sold half-furnished

Yes, you're reading that well. The kitchen came with all the appliances: hob, oven,fridge, washing-machine, dryer and dishwasher. But there was no flooring across the whole apartment. We had to buy tiles and wooden floors, and do all the work ourselves. Well, my husband did it, but I was there for moral support.

The walls are not straight

Every time my DIY husband tried to install something on the wall, I was giving out because it didn't look straight. I blamed his poor vision for that, but after closer inspection, we realised that in fact, the problem was the wall, not the shelf or the cabinet he was trying to install. So yes, if you come to our place, don't be surprised if you notice that the towel hanger is not straight. It's not us. It's the builders.

There is a radiator in a cupboard

That was a bit of a shock. What is the use of having a radiator in the cupboard? Well, don't forget we're in Ireland. Usually, there is a hot press in the bathroom. You know, that's where the hot water balloon is, and in general there are a few shelves where you can dry  your towels. In our apartment, there is no hot water balloon in the bathroom because we have a boiler in the living room (another strange thing). So the clever builders/designers/architects thought it would be a great idea to have the "hot press" in the hall. And how do you dry towels? With the radiator of course! Needless to say we never turned it on.

Sockets and switches in weird places

In the bedroom, there are two sockets high on the wall, and I had to think hard for a while about their use. Then I realised it was to plug a TV, in case we wanted one on the bedroom wall.

Then we discovered a lone switch on the living room wall. It didn't switch anything on, and it only took us 6 years to find out it was there in case we wanted to install a gas fireplace.

And last but not least, the only phone socket in the whole apartment was placed on the kitchen wall, near the hob and the oven. I still don't get it.

Apart from all these odd Irish building ideas, we love our apartment. Sure we've been living in an unfinished complex for almost 10 years (Thank you recession and the property developer who went bust), but it has been sold recently so hopefully the block across ours will be finished soon. We are near the sea and just passing by on my way to work makes me happier. We have great neighbours and the area is very quiet. I still want a house though, and I hope some day we'll be able to sell and have a garden. When that happen, I'll make sure to check all the walls first!!

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7 reasons why I enjoy living in Ireland

Every time I go home or I talk to someone new, the same question always come back: "Why do like living in Ireland so much?". Well, here are a few reasons why...

Living my life in a foreign language

The reason why I came to Ireland in the first place is because I loved speaking English. And I have to say, if I was to ever go back home, I think what I would miss the most would be not speaking English every day. I've come to a stage where I can speak the slang, use idiomatic expressions, understand Irish references. For me, speaking English has just become natural, I don't think in French and even if I occasionally struggle with pronunciation, I consider myself bilingual. It's just part of my life.

Multiculturalism

Last year, we invited friends over for my son 7th birthday. From the 10 adults present, there were 7 different nationalities. This is one thing I love about Ireland. You can meet people from all over the world and learn about various cultures very easily. I definitely became a lot more open-minded as a result.

The Irish mentality

Obviously there is good and bad everywhere. Nice people and not-so-nice ones, Irish or not. But in a general way, I just like the Irish "It'll be grand" attitude to life. There is less stress, people are more relaxed and I have learned to put things into perspective. I'm definitely a realistic person, but my French pessimistic side has gone down over the years. I'm a lot more patient too.

Education

I know I had a big rant about school hours a few days ago. Having said that, school rhythms are a lot more adapted to kids than in France (it's just a bit of a hassle for parents). Maybe I'm lucky, but all the teachers I came across were extremely helpful. I also find their way of teaching very positive. They encourage children to work to the best of their abilities. I will always remember when the teacher said to me after I received my eldest's National test results: "Don't compare him to the rest of the class, or even the country's average because of course, you will be disappointed. What you need to know is that, given his abilities (he has autism), he really did the best he could. So you should be proud of him". That's what parents need to hear. Especially special needs parents...

Culture & history

Being from Brittany, I was always attracted to the Celtic connection so it's no surprise I'm a big fan of Irish traditional music, dance, legends and literature... Even before coming to Ireland I watched movies and learned a bit about Irish political history. Don't ask me why I had such an interest, I don't really know. I guess I could relate more to Irish people struggles than the French kings...

The Irish Humour

Dark, dry, sarcastic and self-deprecating, that's how you could define Irish humour. I don't know how the Irish do it, but they have a way with words that I will never have, even if I'm bilingual. I also love the fact they laugh about themselves, whereas French people tend to laugh more at the expense of others. I think the Irish have this ability to laugh about pretty much anything, and that's what gets them through life... Something we could all learn a thing or two about.

The Weather

Nah, I'm just kidding. I can't stand it. And I come from the Brittany, I should be used to rain and wind. The truth is, although it's never too cold, it's never too warm either, and if there's something I learned here, is not to trust the weather forecast.

What about you, what do you like most about your host country?

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Rant of the day: School hours

After 5 years of caring for my children (and very well I have to say), my childminder has decided to let me down. The reason? She's exhausted doing the school run. In fairness, she has kids of her own in another school and she minds 3 other kids apart from mine, so I guess she feels like she's spending more time in her car than at home.

But the real problem here is that Irish schools really make parents' life difficult.

In a way, I want to praise the Irish education system. Kids have a good routine, they go to school everyday for 5 or 6 hours, Monday to Friday. In France  there is always a big debate about school hours and days: 4 days or 4 and a half day? If it's the latter, should they have school on Wednesday morning or Saturday morning? The days are longer: 9 until 4:30pm at least in primary school, with before school and after school care within the grounds of the school. I'm sure it's tough for the kids and come Friday, they must be exhausted.

I'm not blaming the education in itself either. So far I've been very happy with my local school, the teacher who is helping my special needs son, and the curriculum. The only thing that would bother me a bit is the over-emphasis on the first communion this year as my son is doing it. But hey, I put him in a state Irish school, so I have to deal with the consequences I suppose (The consequences being the compulsory monthly mass I have to attend...).

What I'm actually fed up about is the fact that the school day ends at a different time depending what class your child is in.  I have one child in Junior infants and the other one in Second class. The youngest finishes at 1:40pm and the eldest at 2:40pm.

Seriously, what are parents or carers supposed to do during that dead hour? Stay in the car? Spend 20 mns exiting the car park, go home for 20 minutes and go back to school? And I'm not even mentioning the fortune you'd spend on petrol if you do 3 journeys to and from school everyday...

I am complaining, but the truth is, I don't even drop or collect my kids from school (bad mum I know), but I can completely understand why my childminder has given up after one month of a daily struggle.

I know the school has started to have some after school activities, but they all start at 2:40 as well, so what do I do if I want my 1:40 child to attend one of them? Well, suck it up I think and tell him he will have to wait 2 years to be able to go to the Lego club after school... That's actually the reason why my eldest didn't do any afterschool activities the first two years. The childminder couldn't have coped with the amount of travelling. By the way, did I mention the afterschool club only lasts for 45 minutes?

Anyway, I suppose this is all in the interest of the children, which is understandable, and as parents, we are supposed to put their needs and well-being before ours. But surely an over-stressed mother or childminder, going crazy because she spends most of her afternoon being a taxi driver is not going to do them any favours.

In the end, I think the Irish education system is really adapted to the needs of the children (which again is the most important thing), but they obviously didn't think about the parents.

As for us, we found a good after-school creche that will pick them up from school, supervise homework, and offer daily activities. They will even give them dinner...at 4pm, but I guess I can't have everything!!

If you're an expat parent, what do you think about your host country's education system?

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Is the grass greener on the other side?

I've had enough of *insert country here*! The weather is shit, the government is incompetent, there are no jobs, the rents are too high, I can't afford a mortgage, childcare is too expensive, education is getting worse, I hate the mentality, I pay too much taxes, I can't afford healthcare... The list goes on and on.

If you read this and you're French, you might think I'm talking about France. If you're Irish, you'll probably think I'm talking about Ireland.

You know what? No country is perfect! And most of the time, you only realise how lucky you were once you go abroad and discover how things are done somewhere else.

But if you are in a negative state of mind before moving, the chances are every little set back in your new country will irritate you and you might find yourself reacting like many expats I came across: "In my country, we do it this way. It's a lot better." or "I was told I could come to Ireland and find a job in two days without speaking a word of English". Newsflash: You'll never find a job in 2 days without at least being able to have an interview in the native language. Unless you're incredibly lucky (which could happen too, you never know).

My point is, if you think that moving to another country is the solution to all your problems, you're making a big mistake. And if you think that everything will be easy and better in your new country, it's time to wake up and smell the coffee!

Living abroad is going to be different. Sometimes it will be harder than at home, sometimes it will be easier. But you will need to embrace a new culture and way of life. Yes, some things will be worse than in your native country but other things will be better too.

In France, childcare is affordable, food is not expensive, there is a lot more social protection, and more holidays. In Ireland, finding a job is easier once you speak the language. Recruiters hesitate less about hiring someone with little experience, once the motivation is there.  People are relaxed (sometimes too much and it can become frustrating) and generally friendly. There is less social welfare than in France, but believe it or not, Irish people think there is too much of it! (They obviously never lived in France!).

In short, there is good and bad about every country and how you fit in depends a lot on the individual. I love Ireland but not everybody does, for different reasons. Some countries would be crowded if we all loved the same places!!

I think the key to happiness is to appreciate what we have and come to the fact that, no, the grass is not always greener on the other side, it just has a different shade.

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Movie review: A date of Mad Mary

Last week-end I came across a trailer for newly released Irish movie "A date for Mad Mary". I wouldn't have given a second thought until I read it had been shot in Drogheda, the town where I work! The trailer made me laugh and I love Irish cinema in general, so I invited my neighbour and off we went to see it, in Drogheda of course!

To be honest, I thought I was in for a comedy, but the movie is actually deeper and more subtle than a couple of jokes or bad language.

Directed by Darren Thornton, it tells the story of Mary, who has just been released from a short stay in prison (we don't know the reason until much later in the movie), and returns to her hometown of Drogheda. She tries to rekindle her friendship with best friend Charlene, who is getting married and has asked her to be maid of honour.

The only problem? She doesn't have a date. And she only has three weeks to find one. Mary also has a bad reputation as a short-tempered girl that unfortunately hasn't gone away since her stint in prison. Living in a small town where everybody knows her really doesn't help on her path to recovery.

Just when you think you have the movie figured out, the director takes you in another direction and that's the beauty of it. Sometimes the characters are not even likeable. You're rooting for Mary to get her life back together, and then she does something stupid. You understand the stress of bridezilla Charlene, but can be disappointed in her attitude at times.

The movie is also well served by supporting actresses like Mary's grand-mother with a few priceless one-liners. Mary's mum is also brilliant as the cougar, trying to give her daughter dating tips, and Sharlene's other bridesmaid who resent Mary for being the maid of honour.

I don't want to spoil the movie too much, but all I can say is that it's a story about self-discovery and the dynamics of friendship. You swear you're going to be best friends forever, then life gets in the way, people change and drift apart. But it's not all negative. Sometimes the end of a relationship means the beginning of a new one...

All of that is done in pure Irish style. The first half is more light-hearted with laughing out loud lines and situations, and the second half is more subtle, more emotional. And if you live in or around Drogheda, you're in for a treat with familiar views of the town.

One thing for sure, this movie won't leave you indifferent.

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